We are in Prague! And the Peacewalk is Midsummer-modified!
Now it’s time for a massive blog post I have prepared for a long time 🙂
Walk2Peace has many sides. It has the practical aspects of walking long distances. It also has the cultural, political, social and environmental aspects of peace. This post I will share about another dimension: the spiritual or the mystical side.
When I grew up I always wondered when the wizards would come and pick me up and tell me they had kept me hidden for my protection. I didn’t feel like I belonged in school with all the drama and anxiousness about how to look and behave and what to say. In the fantasy books I found another world, where young kids like me learnt magic in order to save the world from the villains.
One of the first fantasy worlds I lived in
Then I grew older and one day I decided it was enough with the fantasy books, magic doesn’t exist and I have to get real, get a job and first of all, an academic degree. So I ended up in physics.
My old fantasy dream of saving the world reappeared, this time in the form of fusion energy, the long prophezied technology to harness the transformation of matter to energy that is occuring in our sun and all stars.
On this path to becoming a fusion scientist I ended up in a nuclear fusion experimental reactor in Prague! Imagine my feelings yesterday when I returned to Prague after 7 years, this time on foot from Sweden.
2011, aspiring fusion scientist in Prague
In my studies of physics and burning plasmas I also managed to burnout my self.
It turns out that a human body cannot endure the constant stress of a brain that never stops thinking and works and studies from early mornings to late evenings months after months, year after year.
This created a big problem for me. Because the doctors and all the fancy technology could not find anything physically wrong with me!
Not a single measurement, EKG, stress hormone, X-rays, found anything off the charts, even though I had a constant painful pressure in my chest, sleeping disorders and a belly that could hardly absorb any food.
Problems are opportunities in disguise or so they say, but I felt hopeless. My last chance was presented by monks in Tibet and Harvard brain scientists. Thanks to the Dalai Lama and Harvard researchers, there had been experiments made in the 70ies and 80ies on monks that meditated and unusual things happened in their brains that baffled the researchers.
I remember my thoughts clearly at the time:
“Okey, so something happens in the brain when they meditate, that must mean it’s not only some mumbo jumbo…”
I also felt some kind of kinship with this Dalai Lama. I didn’t know much about Buddhism but I did read a book about him when he talked about altruism, which really awoke something in me. The idea that we should focus on the happiness of everyone. It seemed so… familiar, natural.
With no other options left, I went to a meditation retreat. It was the most painful and frustrating experience of my life. It did however, put me on another track in life. I slowly realized physics wasn’t my true calling after all, and I went for some “soul-searching”.
My journey took me across the world to South America and somehow I ended up in a vegan farm in northern Argentina. I came there with my belly full of the best meat and ice cream in the world from Buenos Aires. Despite my fears I did not only survive but actually thrived with the vegan food, made with so much love by the family. It was here I had my first experince of true magic, the awakening of the heart.
During my visit at the farm I took many forest walks by myself in the lovely landscapes and cold baths in the small river. One day I sat down on a rock to meditate, and suddenly my whole life collapsed.
It began with fears and tensions in my spine (during my year in academia I had extreme lower back pains sometimes so strong I could hardly walk). The pain was so strong that I thought my back would break in half, and I realized that this pain is my own creation. By resisting the sensations in the spine, my muscles tense and the pain and inflammation increases.
In the meditation I was listening to the visionary Mindfulness proponent Jon Kabat-Zinn who talked about loving kindness. I didn’t hear much about his voice though, as my mind was full of my own skeptic voice:
“Ew, loving kindness, it sounds so silly. And why is his voice so irritating and calm?”
My own voice surprised me. Why did I resist his voice? Or rather, why did I judge the love in his voice with such bitterness?
A flurry of memories appeared in front of my inner vision: dozens of memories where I had been hurt by others.
And something cracked. Like the Cohen song, the light started to pour into the cracks. I let go completely of all the resistance, at one point I even let go of the idea of Albin, myself. Because I wasn’t a physicist any more. I wasn’t these harsh voices any more. I wasn’t the pain in my back. Truth is, I didn’t know who I was.
The only thing I could feel as truth was the simplest wish: for all beings to be happy.
Happiness and peace for the trees around me, the birds and the insects and even all those humans who hurt me. Because I suddenly knew that they would never have hurt me if they had felt like this. So full of love. Of trust.
My body felt like a beam of light from the spine up to the sky, I was laughing and crying at the same time, all the emotions I had repressed for a decade bursted like a bubble.
Pretty much how it felt like…
And it was so pleasurable. A million times more pleasurable than any orgasm I had ever felt. Surge after surge throughout my body of ecstatic electric energy. And it didn’t stop. Wave after wave it came back, with feelings of love, devotion, forgiveness, and endless gratefulness.
That was my crash course introduction to Kundalini, Shakti, Bhakti, Spirit, to God and to Mother Earth. But I didn’t know any of these spiritual and religious concepts. I was just some atheist guy who happened to find some kind of ancient treasure.
My treasure hunt took me on many journeys, I studied psychology, started a mindfulness company, went celibate and lived a hermit lifestyle for years, practicing yoga, meditation and chi gong all at once. But it was never enough.
I wanted to do more, more for the trees, the children, the oceans, the climate and my friends and family.
What was my true calling? The spirit in my spine was burning in me, burning away all that wasn’t completely aligned, completely true to my… Soul or real Self.
One day 2015 I was doing chi gong in my dad’s garden and a thought suddenly appeared. Softly, like any ordinary thought.
“I’m going to walk to Syria. Next year.”
It felt completely normal, like “I’m going to walk to the bus stop”, but it meant that I would walk for a year or longer to one of the deadliest places on Earth.
I told my dad, needless to say he was a bit skeptical about this endeavour. Then half a year passed and I didn’t think more of it. I didn’t have to, my mind was already convinced. This was the call I had asked for.
It turns out the wizards didn’t come and pick me up to teach me magic, I had to walk to them…
This is the end of part one. Maybe you want to take a little break and listen to this song, a wish for the happiness of all beings.
Now we are in spring 2016 and I am preparing myself for this walk to Syria, or Walk2Peace as we had begun to call it. It wasn’t just me now, I had been connected with a man that would become my brother, Fredric. The idea was to walk together to the Syrian border and then take a train back, walking for a year in solidarity with all the refugees who fled the opposite way.
But the universe had a different plan…
Just a few days before we were going to take the first steps outside Gothenburg, I was visiting a festival “Space of Love”. I thought it would be a great way to prepare myself for this journey with some space of love.
It was incredible, meeting old and new friends and experiencing ancient ceremonies like the sweat lodge.
One night something happened while I was listening to a peace concert with 12 different peace prayers from world religion. During the concert I began crying and the tears didn’t stop. It felt as if I was the whole Earth crying for herself, crying for the uneccessary suffering of all her children.
Afterwards we sat in a circle and the thought came again. The calling. I had only gotten half of it the first time.
“I’m not just walking to Syria, I’m going to walk all around the Earth and keep walking all the way to World Peace.”
My first thought was something like:
“Oh… okey, then I guess I know what I’m going to do with my life.”
What really shocked me however, was that I knew that every single word was absolute truth. I was going to walk to World Peace.
World Peace will happen in my lifetime. I will see it with my own eyes. Feel it with my heart. The last war.
This was big. So big I could only tell it to one person: Fredric.
So we began walking just a few days later the 12th of June 2016. On the surface we said we were walking to Syria but inside I was smiling as I knew the real journey ahead.
I didn’t know it at the time but Fredric was one of these wizards I had read about as a child. I don’t think he knew it either, but we were about to teach each other the mystery of life. Slowly, gradually, strange things happened to us on the peacewalk. We couldn’t put our fingers on it and as we were both engineers, we usually shrugged it off with a laughter.
Two engineers gone through a complete hippification!
It could be tiny details, like me telling Fredric how nice it would be with some blackberries and the next moment we pass a huge shrub. Or him telling me how nice it would be with a swim and then we passed some abandoned limestone mine with beautiful clear blue green water.
Then it got stronger, in a way that my scientist mind just had to give up the idea that life can’t be magic.
This is just one example: In Autumn I was passing the town of Luneburg in Germany and I used to call my grandmother every second day on my cell phone, but it had stopped working so I needed a new one. At this time I was also walking without any money, receiving food and shelter from kind people along the way, so getting a new phone might not be the easiest, or so I thought.
My kind host in Luneburg happily gave me some money for a phone and told me where to go to buy it. I quickly found a phone but just as I was about to buy it, a young man approached me and asked me if I was “the peacewalker”.
I laughed and smiled, this was the first time someone recognized me like this, but how? I didn’t make any announcements and didn’t carry any flag.
It turns out it was magic that brought us together, or just a very odd coincidence. His name was Fieter and his mother Sabine had contacted me on email many months before, as she was interested in the Peacewalk. He was in the store just to check out a tablet with his dad and invited me to their home. Then I remembered that his mother already had invited me many months before but I had forgotten it and actually almost walked past their house. So I went back with him and realized something: Fieter was a wizard too.
Meeting Fieter (to the right) and his family
Sabine told me how happy she was that I came by and how Fieter really wished to walk with me. So either it was just a weird coincidence that we entered the same electronic store within the same hour and he recognized me despite the newly grown long beard, or it was Fieters wish to walk together that connected us.
The cherry on top was my cellphone. It actually wasn’t even broken! I didn’t even have to go to the electronics store in the first place, all I needed was a new headset…
This was one of many mystical “coincidences” that began to appear more frequently as I let go of my old ideas of how the world “works”.
Last winter I went back to Sweden for a break. I didn’t know why at first, but the universe had a plan somehow. In my mind I thought I was supposed to go back to be with my grandmother as winter is her most challenging time, living by herself as a 96-year old. That was only one part of the truth.
One day I had a dream about a woman I would meet. It was quite detailed and I knew I would meet her in exactly one week on the full moon in a course I was going to. That week messed with my mind completely. Every day I heard the same voice in my mind.
“It can’t be true Albin, you know the world doesn’t work like that. You are just fooling yourself”
My only rescue from doubting magic at this point was another dream.
Half a year before I had a similar strong dream about a friend of mine where I saw her face covered in smoke and dark clouds. She was so upset in the dream that I had to write to her.
We hadn’t spoken in several months and she was on the other side of the planet, Australia. But she responded the same day and told me something that helped me realize again: Yes, magic is real.
Because the very same night I saw her in the dream full of dark clouds, she had been camping in Australia in the strongest thunderstorm in her life, sitting all night in her broken tent fearing death with each flash and thunder. One person in that camp had died that very night.
So even thought I knew my dreams are not just coincidences, I doubted the full moon meeting.
After the week I finally went to the course and some part of me instantly recognized the woman from the dream, but other parts still doubted. Was it really her? We hugged and nothing happened. I began to doubt again, “it can’t be… it was just a dream”.
Then we met again and I looked into her eyes and instantly knew it was her from the dream. A human being I had never met before in my entire life and still I had seen her in a dream one week before. Her name was of course the same as my sister and somehow I knew we would not meet again in this way. Because all of this was just preparations in a much bigger plan.
I am a hopeless romantic. I fell in love with a woman the first time at age 8 and it was the start of a 20 year cycle of hopeless romances. Not a single time did my countless romances connect at the deepest level but each time they created pain in my heart from the illusion of separation that the romantic ideal builds upon
At one point I even got so frustrated and scared of my own objectification of women that I went celibate for 2.5 years. I wanted to be able to see women as human beings who also happened to be women. Not the opposite.
Then last year something happened. While walking with Fredric I told him I could feel that I would meet a woman that would walk with me in the future. She would be really angry with me at times and that was pretty much all I knew… Much like some bad stereotype.
A month before I was going to take the train back to Germany and resume walking, I was visiting a spiritual festival at a course center in Sweden which has been like my second home, called Ängsbacka.
At the peace pole in Ängsbacka
I was very excited, because some weeks before I had that distinct feeling or knowing that yes, now was the time. This was the time when I would meet her: Gaia’s daughter.
And I did, but I didn’t really understand it completely at first… I thought she would join our mindfulness company and walk a little bit with me and then go back to Sweden. Turned out that universe had other plans.
This woman and I went south by train down to Copenhagen, where we said goodbye as she would come down and walk with me a few weeks later after the Peacewalk resumed.
There I also met Depp, the Syrian refugee who walked with me and Fredric in Denmark last year. It was a most lovely reunion and he told me something interesting.
“The Walk2Peace has a lot of peace and now it also needs love!”
You were very correct Depp.
Meeting Depp in Copenhagen
After a week of walking, one night I was standing by myself at river Elbe, staring into the bright shine of planet Venus while talking to this woman on the phone and suddenly had the courage to tell her a little bit of my… true feelings. It changed a lot of things.
Two weeks ago she came down at the time of the full moon to walk together and we felt like Adam and Eve in Paradise, it was then I began to understand.
After the rays of energy and love began to spread in my body that day many years ago in Argentina, it had become easy for me to love the universe again. To love the Earth, the trees, whales, insects and birds.
Even so, it was still challenging to love humans… with all our destructive habits. Here I was, with the human-and-woman I truly loved, who came all the way from Sweden to Czech Republic to walk with me, and I still found it hard to commit myself to loving her. Loving someone while commiting to walk around the Earth to World Peace. Loving all of humanity, loving her and loving the whole world at the same time.
Is it possible?
Yes. I finally said yes to it in my heart, yes to love not just on the spiritual plane but love in all dimensions. To love not just the beautiful and natural things but to shine light and love in the darkest corner of our planet and it’s history. To love those who need it the most, whose lives are lived in the shadows of humanity.
And I said yes to continue the Walk2Peace together with her and all our friends in Peace and Love around the world.
Of course the real wizards of old times were not only men but women too, (which scared some men so much they initiated the witch hunts in the medieval times.)
And this woman is truly a real sorceress, teaching me the most ancient magic, the magic of true love that is free of fear and grasping.
The magic of truthful and honest devotion to the sacred feminine and masculine, light and darkness, Yin and Yang that we all possess.
In other words,
Welcome to Walk2Peace Ebba
Let’s create the magic of peace together with all beings on the living spaceship Earth
Swedish Midsummer tradition: flower wreaths
We have now reached Prague and after a well needed rest and meetings with new friends in Prague, Ebba is taking a break and returning to Sweden while I continue the peacewalk along the river Vltava to Moravia and Linz in Austria.
Then the way leads east across Central Europe along river Donau, passing Vienna, Bratislava, Budapest and Belgrade, open for any mysteries and magic that comes our way.
Peace to all
Love to all
Hatred to no one
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